Who's The Boss?

A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your trousers." she said. "That's right,'' said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family." With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. "Hell," he said. ''I can't get into your panties!" She replied, "That's right...and that's the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes."

Resident Pilot and KeyTrak

are in place. Let's see how it's gonna benefit me as a homeowner. I was in the lobby when they installed keytrak. It's nothing but a big "safe box" that cost 10K (I think that was the cost). If so, then why not just buy a safe box at home depot. Here's the thing...when they announced it, they also announced that they will be "rekeying" my locks. When these two events were announced together, I thought I was gonna get a state of the art key tracking system with card key access like the hotels or something along that line. Instead, I got two new cylinders for my lock that don't even fit properly. The handyman said that there was nothing he could do to make the cylinder fit properly. Why didn't they do this sooner? They waited till I ran around town trying to find a place that could make copies of the keys and then pay $20 each. So I got two keys that I paid $40 for and can't use anymore. Now, I got regular cylinders with keys that anyone can copy. Just lovely.

Resident Pilot is supposedly working. I haven't logged on yet to see all the "magical" stuff that it's "suppose" to do. A point that the "board member" kept trying to sell was the package "tracking" ability. Geez, I wonder what exactly am I tracking here. Let's suppose I ordered something from Target delivered by UPS. Both UPS and Target notify me when my package arrived, scanned and accepted by whoever accepted it. So why am I tracking my package with resident pilot? Am I missing something here. Anyhow, it seems a pretty pricey system (25K and more) system for what email can achieve for FREE or the doorman/super can do on the unitone system that we already have in our homes.

I guess somebody did have a nice Christmas!

But.....let's give these systems the benefit of the doubt shall we since we didn't have a say whether to purchase them or not.

COMFORTABLE

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home." The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After buying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news. She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home." The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word "comfortable". The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, "comfortable?'" The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde. The word's big. She'll read it slow. - - - - ("com-for-da-bul" )

School Daze

It was at the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils.

The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, "I bet I know what it is. Some flowers." "That's right" the boy said, "but how did you know?""Oh, just a wild guess," she said.

The next pupil was the candy shop owner's daughter.The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, "I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets.""That's right, but how did you know?" asked the girl."Oh, just a wild guess," said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop of the leakage with her finger and touched it to her tongue."Is it wine?" she asked."No," the boy replied, with some excitement.The teacher repeated the process, taking a larger drop of the leakage to her tongue."Is it champagne?" she asked."No," the boy replied, with more excitement.The teacher took one more taste before declaring, "I give up, what is it?"With great glee, the boy replied, "It's a puppy!"